it's like heather said- my christmas ruled cause i am spoiled. kind of boring other than that. hung out with the jewish dudes cause they know how to party on jesus' b-day. pretty lonely. my family is a-okay but you know how it is. i wish things were different. you know what i mean.

things have been going well. im the perfect person for christmas- i just like getting presents. told the parents about how we're gonna do the band full-time- they took it well. im getting ready to be poor and eat peanut butter for awhile. thinned out the hawk tonight, it is definitely more Mo than Faux now. i'll chop it after me and the girl from the distillers make out. i am having a new years party. you are invited probably. there will probably be a castlevania update soon. sorry i am so lazy.

the show tonight was sold out. it was fun. email me about the details i wont bore you with them.

after awhile you start to believe all the bad things you read about yourself.

i dunno. the bussiness end of things is disgusting. i'm gonna get to live my dream. it's so wierd to me still.

other things: the night air isn't really clearing my head. i am thinking way too much- way too fast. this doesn't feel safe. bury me on the corner of damen and roscoe catching snowflakes on my tongue. bury me with this smile wide across my face. how does this all turn out? how does our story end? this is one of those moments where everything feels right.

"so much for the autographs, so much for apologies. so much for the promises we never intended to keep"

dont forget me. pete

we got a new song up just for the holidays: www.mp3.com/fall_out_boy

my christmas list:

acoustic bass (a cheap one is fine, its better than not having one)
nightmare before christmas stuff (anything)
dvds
paul frank socks
a porsche with a hot tub in the back instead of seats
i'll write more stuff later

so it's been short posts. i'm not sure why. stuff is stuck in my head. things have gotten kind of crazy as of late but not in a cool way. its like everything falls apart so fast. 23 years of failing and you get alot of practice at it. i'm not sure the decisions i am making are the right ones. the words get tangled in mouth on the way out. i'm never quite there. i can't say anything out loud to save my life. i'm sorry.

bummed. down. blue.
i'm such a drag.

i don't know what to say. i am confused. don't let it go too far.

loaded words are like loaded guns to our head. baby. this doesn't end good. the only thing that matters is following your heart.

forget december. its got me down.

stuck in the studio- the song is awsome- it's pretty funny.

don't be crushed. you're still the coolest.

so don't forget me cause that would be the worst. i am so out of my mind right now.

i saw an old friend today at new found glory. its funny how i just keep running into the same people over and over again. deep in lyric writing lately. gotta get ready for the record. gotta get this stuff out of my head and down on the paper. i am feeling things that i shouldn't be. it's wierd. i care and you can't tell. and i shouldn't. things aren't going as planned. i'm gonna lock all my doors and sit this one out- just feed the paper- ink. it's lonely inside my head. i can't tell anyone and noone understands. when i leave on tour- don't change and please forget about me cause it's not getting easier.

- my heart is on my sleeve- wear it like a bruise or black eye- a badge, a witness-

we played well. we had fun. tommorrow we're going with all of lane tech highscool to see new found glory. excitement.

my head hurts from all of this thinking and confusion. pressure.

uh yeah. my nerves are shot. a label flew in to check us out today. things are strange in other areas of my life. i guess i don't want to go into it. it's hard to make sense of.

undead love at www.castlevania.blogspot.com

on another note. it's wierd having to be the adult. but it has to happen.

go to the spitalfield show with brandnew at the Metro thursday.

both bands own you.

lots to say. too much on my mind. went to philly for thanksgiving- my grandpa tried to get me to kill him. how depressing. sat behind ed norton on the plane- it was crucial. it's snowing here- i am cold and miserable. scammed some tickets to saves the day last night. it was wierd it was one of the few shows i actually wanted to go to of that size in awhile. we got there and they looked like hippies and sounded like hippies and at first i was totally bummed out. but then i just thought about it and realized this is what those guys want to be doing. like they had the head of universal calling them saying they could make them the next blink182 and they turned it down. i respect that because they are doing what makes them happy. i dunno. this probably doesnt make much sense. oh well. more later now sleep. my chemical romance. eat. stay up all night and watch bad movies.

- cause i hope you're doing great and you can pretend to love friends who will never care half as much as i did.